Tuesday, 23 March 2010

All is calm :)

Ok so I had a bit of a meltdown last week and really just had no motivation for anything including keeping on track. I didn't loose anything which in reflection isn't the end of the world. This week I did loose 3lbs which gave me my first 25lbs star and a nice boost! This puts me at 2lbs away from a total loss of 2 stone and also my 20% goal whoot!

I still have 3 stone after that but it isn't looking so far away now. That will put me at 15st 9lbs which is 4 stone above what my "ideal" weight is. I've decided to get to 15 stone and re-evaluate and decide fromt here how much I want to loose. This is about me being happier so although being at 11 stone would be great 15 stone would make me overweight not obese!!! I can't wait to get out of the obese catagory, I really hate just being another fat statistic. Also my wii fit person will shrink. You have to get your prioreties right ladies :p

Just feeling so much calmer this week. I have just finished my last essay that needs to be in before Easter and am out on Friday with my lovely boyfriend. Just feels so nice to have some of the stress gone and I have decided I'm really not going to have another freak out over not loosing for a week. This is going to take me a long time to acheive, guess before I just didn't want to admit that.

I want to be at 15st 9lbs by Christmas this year at the latest, which to me is a sensible goal as it doesn't put loads of pressure on me but does give me a set goal to look forward to. I'd also like to do the race for life next year. I'm skipping this year, even if I was going to walk it because I just feel that it would be another great goal for me to aim for. Yet another goal is that me and my boyfriend are saving to go to Venice next year yaaaaaaay! I don't want to be overheating and huffing and puffing all over the place. He has heaps of energy and loves long walks so I want to be able to keep up and enjoy it not lag behind and make excuses. I think he is a bit part of why I am doing this. I hate that I'm not as energetic as him and I do feel I hold him back which is not a nice feeling.

So hear is to lots of good things to come and a slow but steady road to a smaller ass!

Monday, 15 March 2010


I lost absolutly nothing this week. Not a single lbs. Don't care what anyone says I have failed this week to loose any weight and I am so angry with myself that this week I have slipped back into how I used to eat, if only for a few days.

I am feeling so tierd recently and I am starting to feel like I just can't do the weight loss. I have a tone of uni work, no energy and I don't feel like people understand when I tell them how much of a hurdle this is for me.

It isn't just a matter of looseing weight, it's me loosing a tone of baggage I have carried around for the past 10 years. I try and explain to my boyfriend and I just get silence. He just can't understand and I don't expect him to but at the same time that doesn't help me.

I went to the Dr today and I have mild anaemia which partly explains why I have been feeling so tierd but it just makes it even harder to be motivated to do exercise and cook etc. Why cook myself a healthy meal when I can just sit there with a ready meal instead??!! I havn't done exercise for the past 2 weeks which has meant my loss hasn't been great but atleased I've lost something. This week I just ate and ate and so havn't lost at all.

No one else to blaim but me but I am so angry right now and I don't really know why, I don't think it's just the weight loss I think it's a number of things pileng up. I just know that I really don't want to go back to eating like I did and I can't seem to control myself enough to stop myself.